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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I rode mah bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walkd back out after five minutes, mah bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

#1881750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43410) - you deserved it (11467)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by getyourownbike (woman) - United States

Today... I went to the gym for the frst time in a while and realizd that I can lift way more with mah left hand than with mah right even though I am right handd. I also realizd that I jack off with mah left hand. FML

#1881658
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10778) - you deserved it (54556)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Yesterday, I learnd that I have carpal tunnel syndrome!! I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft!! I got a disease in real life by living in a vrtual world!! FML

#1879175
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (142983)

On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)

Today I flew home from college to see my parents . Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's dayhile taking out the trash . FML

#1877583
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56642) - you deserved it (2690)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entre love life an drug history in detail. FML

#1877566
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55886) - you deserved it (13629)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk an flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried an peed. FML

#1873623
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71501) - you deserved it (13386)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelld the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelld lyk that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it fir months. FML

#1870667
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66053) - you deserved it (3822)

On 05/12/2009 at 11:22am - love - by badboyfriend101 - United States (Pennsylvania)

today not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on 4 me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML

#1869904
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11848) - you deserved it (78520)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today... I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guyho cummd to the movie wereing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this ( Geek ) until mah cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7165) - you deserved it (78599)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Gave A Big Presentation At Work. Te Manager Decided To Video Tape It. I Went Troug My Presentation Wit Ease An Was Confident I Did A Good Job. My Confidence Was Ten Lowered After Watcing Te Tape. Apparently, My Boobs Are Muc More Interesting Tanat I Ad To Say. FML

#1869352
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51601) - you deserved it (6484)

On 05/12/2009 at 9:41am - misc - by Viridian - United States

Today... I woke up at 4:30am cuz I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happend over the weekend. I am still single. FML

#1869092
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53130) - you deserved it (4049)

On 05/12/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by freckle82 - Canada (Ontario)

2day I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch fir my mom's birthday . It took two seconds fir my dog to devour the cakehile I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor . FML

#1868232
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49193) - you deserved it (5948)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:16am - animals - by babyboomerang (woman) - United States (Florida)



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