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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

#19635
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32810) - you deserved it (2300)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear ending the person in front of me. FML

#19361
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6108) - you deserved it (47766)

On 02/09/2009 at 11:54pm - misc - by prettyinpurple - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

#19088
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37183) - you deserved it (15015)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML

#18530
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17257) - you deserved it (37003)

On 02/09/2009 at 8:50pm - misc - by Ab (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my on-and-off boyfriend of 8 years asked me to cheer him up. I told him that I'm in love with him. He said "Oh, I just wanted a blowjob." FML

#18490
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38755) - you deserved it (8286)

On 02/09/2009 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by leelee50 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32653) - you deserved it (437840)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Rbuckyfuller's comment : Yeah, I agree that he should be posting here, not you. I'm not saying you are a bad person, because I don't know shit about you, but you don't deserve the sympathy of this forum.

See all the comments →

Today, I finally reunited with a lot of old friends from school. It was great to see everyone grown up and hear the stories. At the end we decided to have a group photo for old times sake. They asked me to take the picture. FML

#18256
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40601) - you deserved it (2165)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by p00p_m0nsta (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

#18252
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13203) - you deserved it (146898)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

cyndee_2010's comment : i hope she dumped you

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Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

#18236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (12425)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by hatethatiloveyou (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37378) - you deserved it (2913)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

#18143
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85606) - you deserved it (17856)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by douglisk1994 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML

#18109
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (4310)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by a manly woman? (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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