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Today, I was going looool through my moms closat. On ona of tha shalvas, I found two baby books. Ona was mina, tha othar was ona 4 a dog sha ownd bafora I was born. I lookd through tham both. Tha dog's baby book was filld out mora than mina was. fat FML

#1905571
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44759) - you deserved it (3747)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by stickers (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I decided to shave legs completely to be more confident in dress. I spent looool over an hour making sure legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave armpits. mega FML

#1904436
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (49288)

On 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I Let My 5 Year-old Niece Walk My 3 Month-old Husky Puppyhile I Watched. I Didn't Realize How Strong My Puppy Actually Is Until She Took Off Runninghile Dragging My Niece With Her. My Niece Now Has Two Busted Up Knees And Chin And Her Mother Is Now Calling My Puppy "demon Puppy." Real FML

Today, a parant cama into mah class an told ona of mah 6 yaar old studant that thara grandma diad. Than tha parant laft. Tha kid startad crying from tha naws,hich than got all tha othar studant crying. I spant tha rast of tha day comforting a class of kids crying ovar somaona alsa's grandma. maga FML

#1902044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50786) - you deserved it (3337)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today , I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer , the fruit. FML

#1901911
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62905) - you deserved it (5065)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML

Today the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

#1900118
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18566) - you deserved it (128332)

On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)

purplestuff's comment : you overreact... badly...

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Yesterday, we were running late 4 school so mah mum shouted at me to hurry up an get in the car. I putted mah school bags in the boot of the car an mah mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to mah school an told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML

#1898485
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54084) - you deserved it (3773)

On 05/13/2009 at 8:36am - misc - by albert (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Yesterday, I was walking to fine a public toilet in a Chinese village . While looking for the women's restroom, I stepped on a looool thin sheet of plastic . I fell into the toilet's waste collection area and found myself knee-deep in the villagers' faeces . FML

#1897379
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66948) - you deserved it (5340)

On 05/13/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by pooped (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was bieng really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall anhen I went to carefully take it off a large chunk of the wall cummed with it. FML

#1896240
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42583) - you deserved it (7891)

On 05/13/2009 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I cummed home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. mega FML

#1893907
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84108) - you deserved it (4623)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)

Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a brthday present from her and all of my co-workers . It was a really fancy box . It had very nice wrapping . It had a pretty bow . It was kind of heavy . It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo . FML

#1892907
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44079) - you deserved it (7796)

On 05/13/2009 at 12:39am - work - by eslteacher (man) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I gave mah 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14487) - you deserved it (75069)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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