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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71611) - you deserved it (23301)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents and I were looking through old photos. My dad comments, "Wow you were chubby back then. But that's ok, it was baby fat." Then he turns to me and asks, "What's your excuse now?" FML

#521757
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51735) - you deserved it (10117)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

#525590
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61181) - you deserved it (6536)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

#520285
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90711) - you deserved it (32939)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

#520229
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (63263)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (77113)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

#518430
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68175) - you deserved it (22590)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by AGluckily (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

#517502
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59910) - you deserved it (3783)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by al0406 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

#516952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53186) - you deserved it (11989)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

#516140
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69791) - you deserved it (6195)

On 03/21/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by motherdearest (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a hard day's work and emotional argument with my best friend, I sent my boyfriend a text telling him how much I loved him and cherished him in the hopes he would cheer me up with a romantic reply. He said "Sorry, I've only got 8 texts left." FML

#515766
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52096) - you deserved it (6208)

On 03/21/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Gutted. (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML

#512486
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51263) - you deserved it (20369)

On 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Bden (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML

#511211
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46275) - you deserved it (19935)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by mjayne17 - Canada (Ontario)



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