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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I just got back from a Civil War Reenactment in Virginia, my first big event in years. I spent over $200 on gas and food, and had to drive for over 10 hours both ways from Massachusetts. When I finally got there I realized, I had left my uniform at home. FML

#548341
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (56318)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by Earthboundb (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

#548295
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (63111)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML

#548239
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66463) - you deserved it (28344)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received two withdrawl grades in school for droping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did this, and he said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

#547884
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104435) - you deserved it (3990)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:12am - misc - by snoozer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML

#547480
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11288) - you deserved it (80980)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML

#546076
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8459) - you deserved it (93106)

On 03/23/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by mbrooke (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

#544318
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95964) - you deserved it (8400)

On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)

partake's comment : Yeah, so what? Do the same with his dick/muscles.

See all the comments →

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117043) - you deserved it (21601)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Tipsybeaver's comment : In his defense, that game is awesome.

See all the comments →

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said he needed to be with someone smart so that he could impress his parents. I just got accepted into medical school. When I pointed that out to him, he added that he needed to be with someone attractive. FML

#540189
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77750) - you deserved it (4175)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by Lily (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

#539856
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65502) - you deserved it (31511)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it a solo came on, and i turned to her and said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML

#539195
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13633) - you deserved it (79921)

On 03/22/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

#538708
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60540) - you deserved it (7335)

On 03/22/2009 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by liz1234 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

#537010
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86365) - you deserved it (18822)

On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)



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