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Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35230) - you deserved it (2965)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

#37200
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41072) - you deserved it (3024)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by hhaannnnaahh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

#37065
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12520) - you deserved it (30072)

On 02/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by The V Sal - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

#36818
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33148) - you deserved it (3090)

On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

supafly208's comment : hahahaha. wow... first of all, don't accept any drinks from him. and going to his room for late night "work" means you're gonna bleed from where you're not supposed to! :D and if you're at dinner and he asks you to toss his salad.... he doesn't mean the kind from a restaurant with ranch. BTW, have fun on your trip.

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Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

#36219
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41455) - you deserved it (7575)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by shinoza (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I found a bone in my sandwich. It was a veggie burger. FML

#36182
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (6861)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by veggiegal (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35162) - you deserved it (17962)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

#35996
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40811) - you deserved it (6150)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:42am - animals - by abi_vet_student (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

#35910
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27356) - you deserved it (34735)

On 02/13/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Kulcha (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML

#35844
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49077) - you deserved it (7081)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:57am - misc - by Yazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a new TV as a 10th anniversary present. She gave me a torch on a keyring. FML

#35828
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30314) - you deserved it (6090)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:46am - misc - by Tamps (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

#35674
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11545) - you deserved it (39776)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)



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