Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation

anonbastard's comment : Why the hell would you go screaming at the driver? The people working drive-thru could've been slow for all you know.

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Today, I spent ages applying for a scholarship on-line. I found out on the very last page that I do not meet the qualifications for it. FML

by effme / 06/01/2010 at 2:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

by AbFlab / 06/01/2010 at 12:35am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

by anonomus / 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

robinsn's comment : Most people are their first time.

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Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

by Stupid_Chick / 05/31/2010 at 9:09pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML

by twnty1 / 05/31/2010 at 11:43am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that he only found big girls attractive, and that's why he could never cheat on me with my friends. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

by frgn8r / 05/31/2010 at 7:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I went to my orthodontist where I was informed that I'll going to the prom, to my brother's wedding, and maybe to university with braces in my mouth. FML

by FarisH / 05/31/2010 at 5:15am / Jordan (Amman Governorate) / Health

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2010 at 8:27pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

by lonelyandbored / 05/30/2010 at 8:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I found that my cats somehow managed to pull the plug of my fridge out of the socket. Several days ago. Now I have to get rid of a ton of stinking food and clean the stinking fridge. FML

by Alexander / 05/30/2010 at 12:53pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Animals

Today, as a bridal shower gift, I got a "coupon" for 25% off divorce attorney fees. It was a collective gift. FML

by Nikki / 05/30/2010 at 12:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous