Today, my boyfriend convinced me to skip school with him. His mom came home early. I had to hide in his closet and wait 6 hours for her to go to her book club meeting. FML

by madgf / 01/30/2010 at 3:55pm / Love

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

by Obsessed / 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML

by Whoopsx99 / 01/30/2010 at 2:21pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML

by hahahaha090114 / 01/30/2010 at 1:59pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my heating broke. It's 22 degrees outside, and my father won't let us call someone to fix it because apparently the cold helps the soul grow. FML

by vikhelios / 01/30/2010 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad came out of a hotel bathroom with nothing but a wash-cloth over his crotch and said "look! this place has cotton loin clothes" in front of my wedding party. FML

by indianaxx / 01/30/2010 at 12:21pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating so I broke up with him. As revenge he threw my PS3 and XBox out of the window when I wasn't in our house. I got those consoles out of the spare money my three jobs had brought in - the same three jobs I had to get because he refused to get a job of his own. FML

by GamerGirl / 01/30/2010 at 10:17am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Love

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2010 at 9:25am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2010 at 8:16am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I realized that the only reason my boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at my house for the past two months is because my little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to their mario kart dates. FML

by wowsucks / 01/30/2010 at 4:40am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

by Wowsers. / 01/30/2010 at 3:47am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

by virgo / 01/30/2010 at 1:50am / Intimacy