Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought a pipe was going to burst in my shower because it was making such a loud rumbling so I called my boyfriend freaking out telling him I didnt know what to do. After taking a second to look a little harder, I realized it was my vibrating razor against the shower wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 9:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

by meowtickmeow / 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

by dreadedmafia86 / 03/11/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

by heartless / 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

by anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband that after fifteen years of marriage, I wanted a divorce. His first question was whether or not he could still go on the family cruise my parents are paying for in May. FML

by danikka1 / 03/11/2010 at 12:13pm / United States / Love

Today, my extremely loud and nocturnal flatmate phoned me to tell me excitedly that he got an accordion for his birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 10:24am / United Kingdom (Hillingdon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

by captainkevineff / 03/11/2010 at 9:44am / United States / Health

Today, I found out that my entire family thinks I have no friends, am expressionless (to quote, "a robot") and that my monotonous voice hints at the suppressed depression hidden deep inside me. According to them, I need psychic evaluation. It all came out at a family reunion. FML

by talhabilal / 03/11/2010 at 9:28am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous