Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

By anon / Tuesday 29 November 2011 23:59 / United Kingdom

Today, it's cold and rainy. I would like nothing more than to drink hot chocolate and watch a movie with the woman I love; the same woman who cheated on me and took the TV with her when she left. FML

By toobad / Tuesday 29 November 2011 19:29 / Canada

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

By seanjohn268 - / Tuesday 29 November 2011 17:21 / Canada
By Anonymous - / Tuesday 29 November 2011 16:15 / United States
By birdfoooo / Tuesday 29 November 2011 15:26 / United States

  Today, I found out my dad has been sending dirty text messages to my mom. Which wouldn't be a problem except they're divorced and my dad is remarried. FML

By bgoodwin07 / Tuesday 29 November 2011 13:31 / United States

Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

By robincakes94 / Tuesday 29 November 2011 12:42 / United States
By LadyDean / Tuesday 29 November 2011 08:00 / United States

Today, I won $20 on a scratch ticket my grandma bought me. She wants it back. FML

By dasteve / Tuesday 29 November 2011 05:45 / United States
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