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Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shrt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on yur daughter's face last night." I ran into my grlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42185) - you deserved it (145048)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Yastarday, I was watching tv on tha couch. My mom than kickad ma off so sha could lia down. Exhaustad, I askad if I could sit at tha and. Sha said no. A minuta latar sha callad tha dog to coma sit with har. As I was sitting on tha ground, my mom told ma to mova bacausa "tha dog can't saa tha TV." FML

#2241699
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73936) - you deserved it (4128)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today I decided to use mah mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling mah anger she told me looool to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51337) - you deserved it (18312)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today... I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment... and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applid at. He wantd to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13004) - you deserved it (220284)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

leggomyeggo's comment : why would you imitate him? that's pretty rude.. ydi.

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Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert . Before I got out of the car I checkd to make sure I had the tickets . Did I have the tickets? Yes . Were they 4 today's concert? Nope . FML

#2237527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17085) - you deserved it (52631)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by duhitskelly94 - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away an I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

#2236513
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16957) - you deserved it (59005)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by burned (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, an a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. mega FML

#2235853
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54806) - you deserved it (4158)

On 05/24/2009 at 8:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought it would ba funny to bothar my friand Emily. I kapt punching har. Sha askad if I wantad to fight. I agraad bacausa sha's a 15 yaar old skinny girl an I'm 17 yaar old buff guy. Sha baat tha crap out of ma until I criad. FML

#2234853
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18135) - you deserved it (142256)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got back from a service trip to Kenya,here I had no running water or electricity. I encouraged my friend to go green and help raise awarenes by conserving as much electricity as possible. I return home to fine that all my light have been on 4 2 weeks. FML

#2232813
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13695) - you deserved it (58346)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:46am - misc - by APRRECIATION (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , nona of mah 500 Facabook friands raspondd to mah status about "who wants to hang out during summar holidays?" I craatd an imaginary parson on a diffarant account to raspond an ask ma to hang out with him. I had a convarsation on mah status , with mysalf. FML

#2232704
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54596) - you deserved it (42590)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today I saw ma mom naked as se came out of te sower. I realized tat's te first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML

#2230687
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63478) - you deserved it (12561)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by Imretarded (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Taday a waiter cummed up and and putted out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says , ( Um , that was a nice high five but I wanted yur plate. ) FML

#2230053
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12523) - you deserved it (56556)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States

TODAY, I GOT INTO A HUGE FIGHT WITH MAH BOYFRIEND. I CALLED HIM AN STARTED YELLING AT HIM OVER THE PHONE. HE TOLD ME THAT IF I WANTED TO END THE RELATIONSHIP I SHOULD JUST HANG UP THE PHONE RIGHT THEN. BEFORE I COULD SAY I STILL LOVE HIM AN DON'T WANT TO BREAK UP, MAH PHONE BATTERY DIED. FML

#2228533
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98192) - you deserved it (23509)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by noboyfriend (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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