Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

#37310
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41125) - you deserved it (4903)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by kiwi (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

#37276
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28722) - you deserved it (6132)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35196) - you deserved it (2963)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

#37200
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40850) - you deserved it (3006)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by hhaannnnaahh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

#37065
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12500) - you deserved it (30040)

On 02/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by The V Sal - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

#36818
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33118) - you deserved it (3089)

On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

supafly208's comment : hahahaha. wow... first of all, don't accept any drinks from him. and going to his room for late night "work" means you're gonna bleed from where you're not supposed to! :D and if you're at dinner and he asks you to toss his salad.... he doesn't mean the kind from a restaurant with ranch. BTW, have fun on your trip.

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Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

#36219
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (7538)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by shinoza (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I found a bone in my sandwich. It was a veggie burger. FML

#36182
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40946) - you deserved it (6857)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by veggiegal (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35133) - you deserved it (17950)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

#35996
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40768) - you deserved it (6147)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:42am - animals - by abi_vet_student (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

#35910
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27248) - you deserved it (34587)

On 02/13/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Kulcha (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML

#35844
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49011) - you deserved it (7072)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:57am - misc - by Yazzy (woman) - United States (California)



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