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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, we finally got our first electricity bill for our new flat. I was shocked to see that we had used £60 worth of electricity in 6 weeks. Then I noticed that it was only an estimate, and that we could read the meter ourselves to correct the amount. We now have to pay nearly £400. FML

#6038057
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (7445)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I realized that I have to block my number to get my own mother to take my phone calls. FML

#6037423
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (3405)

On 10/28/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Slayeddd (woman) - United States

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

#6036914
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34246) - you deserved it (3524)

On 10/28/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by Rhea (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my car through the car wash. I got bored, so turned the radio on, forgetting that the aerial/antenna on the car is automatic. My car aerial is now bent at a 90 degree angle and about to fall off. The radio is half white noise, half stuff that may or may not be free jazz jam sessions. FML

#6036735
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7962) - you deserved it (33450)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:14am - misc - by ohsnap (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (7669)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

#6035910
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (6590)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

#6035078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17226) - you deserved it (34081)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

#6034083
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (2955)

On 10/28/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by bubblensuds1 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

#6030769
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22443) - you deserved it (3718)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by timmynotjimmy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Ninjaface's comment : You reply by screwing her brains out then and there. That way you're killing two birds with one stone: you get laid and she shuts up.

See all the comments →

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

#6030551
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44762) - you deserved it (2683)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by hey-ooo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

#6029729
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8648) - you deserved it (32231)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Kailey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML

#6029575
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34213) - you deserved it (4567)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by ilovemybrother (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

#6028042
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49722) - you deserved it (2630)

On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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