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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

#102962
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64722) - you deserved it (5136)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17101) - you deserved it (55682)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a party and all my friends started asking me ways they could leave so no one would notice because the party sucked. It was MY party. FML

#102896
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (6726)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by SIK of everything (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after weeks of agonising, I told my best friend (who I am madly in love with) that I love her. She said: "me too, you're like a brother and a best girlfriend rolled into one!" FML

#102544
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52081) - you deserved it (4401)

On 02/22/2009 at 5:01am - love - by Reaper - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

#102493
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36264) - you deserved it (6044)

On 02/22/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by highlycontagious - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML

#101947
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38328) - you deserved it (10040)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:24am - love - by 987564 (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

#101898
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (3980)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:16am - love - by Marleck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my Grandma was showing me an ancient family letter. It was apparently written by someone historically famous. She was going on about how important it was, in such good condition too, worth a lot. I dropped my glass of juice. It spilt all over it. FML

#101667
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17730) - you deserved it (41582)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by damn-it (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was happy because my exact shirt and sweater were in seventeen magazine. They were in the "what not to wear" category. FML

#101622
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (12173)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by secenteenmagazine. - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

#101471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39205) - you deserved it (2718)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:14am - work - by Noname (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got fired from a great baby sitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML

#100715
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34657) - you deserved it (14661)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:49pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

#100454
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10275) - you deserved it (28954)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

#99945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75778) - you deserved it (7061)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)



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