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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

#2862
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Noname - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17949) - you deserved it (1429)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

#2857
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5096) - you deserved it (16688)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

#2840
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (3443)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:58pm - love - by fthis - United States (Colorado)

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (2131)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

#2831
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9577) - you deserved it (23672)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hid my credit card from myself so I wouldn't use it. Now I can't find it. FML

#2823
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5106) - you deserved it (32998)

On 01/27/2009 at 11:47am - money - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, I was on a conference call in my office with the door closed. I let out some loud farts and felt liberated. Forgot my phone was NOT on mute. There were only 3 people on the conference call - including me. FML

#2805
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4296) - you deserved it (15752)

On 01/27/2009 at 9:25am - work - by workerbee - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

#2804
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15380) - you deserved it (1434)

On 01/27/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by impatient amy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35420) - you deserved it (7259)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML

#2788
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (1887)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:24am - love - by aere - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

#2777
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15794) - you deserved it (18837)

On 01/27/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

#2762
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5660) - you deserved it (18656)

On 01/27/2009 at 3:10am - work - by duh - United States (South Carolina)



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