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Man or woman?

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11992) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I downloaded the 'Dark was the Night' compilation made for charity. I have no soul. FML

#2527
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3635) - you deserved it (20036)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by Champs - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was going to end a thing I had with this guy. It turned out that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and was just using me as a back up. FML

#2522
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12407) - you deserved it (2349)

On 01/25/2009 at 11:47am - love - by thesporkhop - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML

#2509
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (4496)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by aces10 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

#2506
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)

Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML

#2505
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6787) - you deserved it (29099)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was getting hot, so I jumped, naked, into the pool. As soon as I got in, it started hailing. I got hit with blocks of ice in places no man should. FML

#2492
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12625) - you deserved it (13431)

On 01/25/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by hailedout - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18931) - you deserved it (1995)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

#2485
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18191) - you deserved it (1639)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by ohfantastic - United States (California)

Today, a couple of mates and me have a reservation on this fancy restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year. I found out that 80% of our money goes to the wine tasting event that they have, a free flow of gorgeous, decent wine all around. I'm allergic to fruit. I'll stick to my 20RMB water bottle. FML

#2482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13299) - you deserved it (2261)

On 01/24/2009 at 8:36pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (7369)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3597) - you deserved it (31281)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)



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