Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

#3194
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5266) - you deserved it (19880)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Owned - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (5373)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15433) - you deserved it (4277)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (3932)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17213) - you deserved it (1617)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4321) - you deserved it (35008)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

#3148
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18645) - you deserved it (2348)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)

Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML

#3146
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8072) - you deserved it (21643)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (4705)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15842) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (1901)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46643) - you deserved it (6387)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

#3070
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (1478)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by calikola - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: