Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5472) - you deserved it (74201)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)

Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML

#3922
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (2522)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:37am - work - by RogerReady - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

#3934
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21877) - you deserved it (1329)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

#3930
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4719) - you deserved it (17496)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:08pm - animals - by ThatsNotRight - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him around two minutes after that, and he had already fallen asleep. FML

#3910
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6281) - you deserved it (25078)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:57pm - love - by grreeatttt - United States (California)

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

#3898
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (914)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by crakbbyaparently - United States (California)

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

#3882
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6165) - you deserved it (36057)

On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sexiled. So that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

#3862
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (1715)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by janie - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

#3854
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (2226)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:57pm - work - by thatsillegal - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML

#3846
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19744) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair. FML

#3826
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7695) - you deserved it (29678)

On 01/30/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Hubris - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

#3797
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14926) - you deserved it (3826)

On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I meant to forward an email to my friend mocking a coworker's email, but I hit "reply" instead of "forward". FML

#3779
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4876) - you deserved it (35696)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by teeth - United States (California)



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