Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

by tammy999 / 01/31/2010 at 1:44am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my sister asked me if any of my family members had commented on my recent weight gain. I told her no not really. Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

by lilsis / 01/31/2010 at 12:38am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

by Becca / 01/31/2010 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

by Me / 01/31/2010 at 12:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

by sparkle / 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

by Twilightsux / 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML

by pkz / 01/30/2010 at 9:11pm / Love

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

by WishesWasDeaf / 01/30/2010 at 8:35pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

by hahahawoww / 01/30/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to skip school with him. His mom came home early. I had to hide in his closet and wait 6 hours for her to go to her book club meeting. FML

by madgf / 01/30/2010 at 3:55pm / Love

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

by Obsessed / 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML

by Whoopsx99 / 01/30/2010 at 2:21pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML

by hahahaha090114 / 01/30/2010 at 1:59pm / United States (New York) / Love