Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15981) - you deserved it (2736)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

#4243
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24926) - you deserved it (1912)

On 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by toosmall - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6634) - you deserved it (28229)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

#4209
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (6445)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by helloworld92 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

#4206
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14365) - you deserved it (1919)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Lady of Sorrows - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38676) - you deserved it (5034)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20175) - you deserved it (1564)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (4924)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25569) - you deserved it (4449)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

#4119
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20500) - you deserved it (4322)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by fuckit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27281) - you deserved it (9386)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a boy I'm not even dating took it upon himself to tell me that we would never work out. Via text message. FML

#4103
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (1808)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:52am - love - by wowza - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16191) - you deserved it (6358)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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