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Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (285846)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

mogan's comment : that is exactly what you get for talking about people like that. what an arrogant prick. do you and your family have nothing better talk about? i'm pretty sure, i've never met you, that if you were a puddle, my feet wouldn't even get wet because you are such a shallow douche bag. what a shamefully pathetic life you are living. i hope karma bit you in the ass hard for that one, asshole.

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Today, the hottest girl in the entire freshman class was telling her friend she was going to Florida for spring break. She said she would be in the same city I would and I couldnt help but say, "Oh, cool! Maybe I'll see you there!" She simply looked at me and said, "I hope not." FML

#328244
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67250) - you deserved it (8823)

On 03/14/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by evanescence (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "how did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?". She yelled from the other room, "you know that little plate with the red stripe". I was eating off of it. FML

#327078
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80893) - you deserved it (6857)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by imfullthanks (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was walking down the street and noticed a man in ripped clothes with a cup out asking for money. I was on my way to the movies but I felt like this man needed it more that me. Right as I gave it to him, he pulled out his blackberry. FML

#324615
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59262) - you deserved it (16415)

On 03/14/2009 at 4:55pm - money - by california (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I learned that the surprise party thrown for my girlfriend's 19th birthday was wonderful and she couldn't be happier. Except that I didn't show up. Apparently 40 people were invited but I wasn't one of them. We've been going out for three years. FML

#323384
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70296) - you deserved it (3497)

On 03/14/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by chessgeeksam - United States (New Jersey)

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

#322339
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104300) - you deserved it (5518)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

#322289
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (75941)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

#320737
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69432) - you deserved it (16328)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18252) - you deserved it (188689)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

PTERONOPHOBIA's comment : I hope youre exaggerating when you say you actually yelled at him for that.

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Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML

#319307
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79199) - you deserved it (8242)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by CPN (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169925) - you deserved it (21402)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

#318260
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (60351)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17137) - you deserved it (108535)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)



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