Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML

by ... / 02/04/2010 at 10:12pm / Miscellaneous

theman34's comment : you dick

See all the comments

Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML

by MafiaWarsWidow / 02/04/2010 at 8:35pm / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML

by luciaspiano / 02/04/2010 at 7:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

by stoopidpoop / 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, after telling my girlfriend that I loved her, she dumped me claiming I was getting "too attached". I've already spent almost $400 on her Valentine's Day present. FML

by Dan1021 / 02/04/2010 at 2:31pm / Love

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

by Ewwwwww / 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I am meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In so doing, I accidentally touched the iron to my neck, and now I have a burn there that closely resembles a hickey. FML

by Minabee / 02/04/2010 at 1:28pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML

by confused / 02/04/2010 at 11:12am / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML

by Awkward / 02/04/2010 at 11:03am / Love

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML

by EchoDearEcho / 02/04/2010 at 9:52am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cyber sex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML

by erin / 02/04/2010 at 9:51am / Intimacy

bhsnare's comment : then dump your boyfriend and save him the trouble of having an unloyal girlfriend, ya?

See all the comments

Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML

by Maxwell / 02/04/2010 at 5:47am / Money

idkweird's comment : Why did you have 500 dollars easily accessible to a child?

See all the comments

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

by littlespoon / 02/04/2010 at 3:40am / United States (Oregon) / Health