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Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was raally nica, wa wara having an amazing convarsation, and as wa starad daaply in ona anothar's ayas sha askad ma "Has anyona avar saan you taka a shit?". Sha than bagan talling ma tha story of whan somaona watchad har. FML

#3154627
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44314) - you deserved it (3413)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)

today my car was impoundd cuz I never registerd it in California after moving here . In order to get it back, I ned to register it . In order to register it, I ned to pass a CA smog check . In order to pass the smog check, I ned my car . FML

#3153262
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51924) - you deserved it (12876)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by nicklesg (woman) - United States (California)

Taday I was at a gas station and I went to the bathroom . Thinking some was already in the bathroom, I waited 4 ten minutes while people lined up behind me only to find out that it was empty . FML

#3152991
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9948) - you deserved it (46827)

On 06/23/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by cmac1229 - United States (District of Columbia)

effmyyliifee's comment : high aspirations

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Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from there machine. I gave it money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine fir ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button fir me. FML

#3145872
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9119) - you deserved it (58888)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, It took me more than 4 hours to set up the back yard for my daughters baby shower!! It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers!! real FML

#3143801
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43352) - you deserved it (3371)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by stew (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Yesterday, I had sex with this guy who I like very much . As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill . So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him . He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he point behind me, my mom watched the whole thing . FML

#3143292
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25135) - you deserved it (68254)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

brooklyngirl's comment : Stop fucking in your mom's house.

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Today , wile reading some cemistry notes I came across te term "solid water" . Completely stumpd , I askd myself , "Wat te ell is solid water?" Ten I eard ma little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4t year science major in university . He still cecks te closet 4 monsters . FML

#3142518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (79894)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store . She didn't recognize me at first so I looool introducd myself as her old teacher . She lookd taken aback for a moment, an then said, "Oh mah God.. . you're still alive?" FML

#3141332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53108) - you deserved it (3968)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today , my little nieces an nephews were about to have a water balloon fight!! I was told to take pictures!! They hit me!! And my $600 camera!! FML

Taday my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found outhen I tried to walk down them in socks. mega FML

#3137998
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43730) - you deserved it (4665)

On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

TODAY, MY MOM WENT TO A PSYCHIC. THE REASON? SHE HAS CONVINCED HERSELF THAT I'M GAY, EVEN THOUGH I'VE TOLD HER THAT I'M NOT AND NEVER HAVE BEEN. THE PSYCHIC DISAGREED. APPARENTLY, I'M BICURIOUS WITH ONE OF MY GUY FRIENDS. GUESSHO MY MOM BELIEVES? REAL FML

#3137659
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52541) - you deserved it (3216)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bd kicks ass. mega FML

#3137547
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (4559)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:16am - health - by usmcpain (man) - United States



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