Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

By scardeycat13 / Sunday 8 January 2012 05:38 / United States
By ProudMama - / Sunday 8 January 2012 00:50 / United States

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

By tictacnose / Sunday 8 January 2012 00:33 / Canada

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

By Jman6295 - / Sunday 8 January 2012 00:12 / United States

Today, I'm in Vegas to celebrate my 22nd birthday. I should be out having a blast, but a stomach virus thought otherwise. I'll be spending my birthday stuck in my hotel room eating microwaved soup. FML

By sick in Vegas / Saturday 7 January 2012 22:21 / United States

Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML

By Forever Alone x2 - / Saturday 7 January 2012 19:47 / United States

Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 7 January 2012 17:49 / Canada

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

By randomgirl / Saturday 7 January 2012 14:12 / United Kingdom

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 7 January 2012 14:07 / Canada

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

By merrymary / Saturday 7 January 2012 11:11 / United States
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