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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom was telling me a funny story about when I was young. So I said 'yeah I was funny huh?' She replied 'Yep, I had a funny one and a pretty one'. FML

#13534
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (1910)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to Subway to grab some lunch. As I was paying, the cashier gave me a tip. He told me of a great acne medication that would do wonders. Thanks. FML

#13491
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (2743)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by chichi (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

#13325
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10333) - you deserved it (51534)

On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend was trying to convince me that he was not having an affair with another woman named Julie, he looked me in the eye and exclaimed, "I would never cheat on you, I love you more than anything, Julie". FML

#13222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43395) - you deserved it (2479)

On 02/07/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by princesspea (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML

#12898
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35579) - you deserved it (1612)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by brokenkneechick (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized my best friend has had it off in my apartment more times than I have. FML

#12896
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (4516)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:23am - misc - by paradox (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

#12870
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25958) - you deserved it (2665)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by biomajor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML

#12756
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

#12686
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (2938)

On 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm - misc - by CBM2012 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266143) - you deserved it (49514)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

xXxRandiexXx's comment : I would dump him. he just left you there!!!

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Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

#12195
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (24047)

On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)

Today, my company hired a new guy to help on our project. My boss said that he would shadow me for the whole day so he could learn our system. At the end of the day my boss fired me, handed my company car keys and laptop to my "shadow for the day" right in front of me. My Mom picked me up. FML

#12081
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (1720)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by Joey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML

#12057
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7511) - you deserved it (15804)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:40pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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