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Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (38648)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked at the facebook of the girl I really liked, and I saw she wrote on her friend's wall "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML

#15703
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45481) - you deserved it (4014)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by YeahWhatOkay (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24173) - you deserved it (4545)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML

Today, I told my best friend of 10 years that somewhere along the way I fell in love with him and I think we should be together. His response: "I appreciate the sentiment." FML

#15560
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25669) - you deserved it (3209)

On 02/08/2009 at 6:34pm - misc - by mer (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I auditioned for the musical at my school. Before I sang my song, I gave my music to the director. She said "Oh, I love this song!". After I sang it, she told me, "Its okay, I still like the song." FML

#14896
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (4208)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by None (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I am finally dating the girl I have liked on and off for the past year. In the school play. FML

#14837
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (4407)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by u_n0_mE - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

#14836
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23283) - you deserved it (3483)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by KaLa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML

#14757
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (10645)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:55am - misc - by Kath (woman) - Poland (Gdansk)

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

#14737
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60617) - you deserved it (7576)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21283) - you deserved it (4477)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML

#14536
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (5320)

On 02/08/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

#14357
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (5596)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by scatter00x (man) - United States (Utah)



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