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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a call from the Hollister manager yelling at me for not showing up for work that night. I was never informed I got the job. I missed my first day of work. FML

#1214347
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61963) - you deserved it (5094)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54237) - you deserved it (5049)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML

#1213141
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57995) - you deserved it (10560)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

#1212600
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15396) - you deserved it (142384)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:24pm - love - by kellym (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Mylar's comment : Yeah, your life isn't fucked, his is.

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Today, I lost my $100 in cash that I had to use to pay my phone bill. As a result, my phone got cut off and I miss an important call for an apartment that I was looking at. When I went to work I heard my boss saying how lucky she was to find $100 in cash. FML

#1206678
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52648) - you deserved it (5214)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal on accident. FML

#1206397
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67773) - you deserved it (25938)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML

#1200531
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60958) - you deserved it (22595)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML

#1200256
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61159) - you deserved it (4545)

On 04/21/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

#1193319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68959) - you deserved it (6523)

On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

#1189680
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46203) - you deserved it (4195)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

#1189537
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60728) - you deserved it (2995)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)



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