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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

#41639
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (2926)

On 02/14/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by semi-depressed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry..." FML

#41470
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (3432)

On 02/14/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML

#40460
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (2119)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by clementine8 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML

#40006
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (5371)

On 02/13/2009 at 11:43pm - misc - by crazycutie1027 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42731) - you deserved it (7102)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

#38126
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37172) - you deserved it (3309)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm - intimacy - by Mr. Hopeless (man) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

#38092
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42297) - you deserved it (3779)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

#37714
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31932) - you deserved it (2358)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:40pm - misc - by samrodpuertorico (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

#37310
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (4635)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by kiwi (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

#37276
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25799) - you deserved it (5750)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33907) - you deserved it (2835)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

#37200
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38517) - you deserved it (2823)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by hhaannnnaahh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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