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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

#87320
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44051) - you deserved it (3457)

On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up happy because I'd met the man of my dreams at a bar. We had shared an amazing night together. I walked around my apartment, wondering where he'd went. Turns out, he was gone. So was my car. FML

#87157
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47162) - you deserved it (23812)

On 02/20/2009 at 10:38am - intimacy - by clueless2 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked a co-worker out for a drink. She said yes, then my older brother who was visiting decided to come behind me and pull down my pants in front of the office. Then she said no. FML

#86812
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41475) - you deserved it (2672)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:12am - love - by robotzzz (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML

#86332
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62601) - you deserved it (2601)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:24am - misc - by OutoftheLoop (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (736480) - you deserved it (73985)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

davidtheday's comment : Karma dude... you shouldn't have stolen Jimmy Stevenson's bike in 6th grade.

See all the comments →

Today, after class, my teacher pulled me aside and said "You know, I never received the e-mail regarding your disabilities that your parents mentioned. Could you have them resend it?" What disabilities? FML

#85475
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44822) - you deserved it (2063)

On 02/20/2009 at 1:16am - work - by Jedi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

#85047
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48634) - you deserved it (1677)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:30am - work - by Noname (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML

#85022
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37938) - you deserved it (10176)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:27am - work - by muffinmen1022 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my college friend that I considered her to be my best friend. She responded, "I don't think you should call me that." FML

#84987
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33139) - you deserved it (3381)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by Oh dear... (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML

#84898
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38844) - you deserved it (2176)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

#84789
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80729) - you deserved it (16692)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML

#82135
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46663) - you deserved it (7598)

On 02/19/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by Skido (man) - United States (California)

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

#81236
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41391) - you deserved it (21581)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)



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