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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML

#80868
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (4497)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by Kev (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

#80589
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (11470)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51075) - you deserved it (2349)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

#79689
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50073) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

#79669
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46506) - you deserved it (4560)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by dpl (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12906) - you deserved it (25601)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

#79632
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (2049)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

#79349
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37865) - you deserved it (7356)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

#79347
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14603) - you deserved it (30139)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by Christen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

#77446
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (26433)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:57am - work - by AbsolutelyEffed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (3308)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML

#77291
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30770) - you deserved it (7571)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Michigan)



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