Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

#6568411
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28169) - you deserved it (8372)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by randm1 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

#6567940
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (3275)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Furry (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML

#6567661
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11648) - you deserved it (44095)

On 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by Fmyapp (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

#6566418
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38133) - you deserved it (5533)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently if you're tee-total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML

#6565832
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31101) - you deserved it (3780)

On 12/02/2009 at 8:27am - work - by ostler (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

#6565317
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40186) - you deserved it (3988)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:36am - health - by michelle91 (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my family went to the Christmas tree farm, and cut down the perfect tree. When we got home we put the kids down for a nap and took some time to relax. We went out to the truck to bring the tree into the house, it was gone. Someone stole my Christmas tree from my driveway in broad daylight. FML

#6565181
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31713) - you deserved it (5571)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:57am - misc - by Project-Mayhem (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

#6564625
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49237) - you deserved it (3513)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML

#6563904
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36843) - you deserved it (4095)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:14am - work - by makeitstop - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52605) - you deserved it (3854)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my husband thinks its okay to have an online girlfriend and have naked pictures sent to his email because he's not "physically touching, making love, or kissing". The sad part is that the online girlfriend gets more action than me. FML

#6562992
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38582) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/02/2009 at 12:57am - love - by j.b. - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my long distance girlfriend I will be coming half way across the country to visit here since I have not seen her in a month, I gave her my flight information so she could pick me up at the airport. She responded with "That's when The Office is on, can you take a cab?" FML

#6560085
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35737) - you deserved it (5552)

On 12/01/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Bostonian (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML

#6557406
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35637) - you deserved it (4710)

On 12/01/2009 at 8:32pm - work - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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