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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

#791194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53620) - you deserved it (5448)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

#790752
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18772) - you deserved it (38286)

On 04/03/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by tmac (woman) - United States

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

#786946
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70021) - you deserved it (24936)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15512) - you deserved it (198548)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

fleg's comment : you're the worst kind of person.

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Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

#785377
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55307) - you deserved it (2812)

On 04/03/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by str3tch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (406536) - you deserved it (66816)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom and sister both told me that they don't like when I come visit with my boyfriend. They love my boyfriend and think he's great, it's me they have a problem with. FML

#783282
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58646) - you deserved it (4292)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by littleone37 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML

#783275
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73090) - you deserved it (6943)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - love - by Troy (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

#782957
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (71577)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML

#780789
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54764) - you deserved it (5184)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting ready to get in the shower. Completely naked, I pulled the curtain away and there was a huge spider on the wall in the shower. I screamed and my husband, disoriented from sleeping, came running in and knocked me over. I killed the spider with my forehead and broke my nose. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

#778324
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64318) - you deserved it (8563)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by herANDi - Canada (Ontario)



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