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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at work, I noticed a spider on a female co-worker's shirt. I gently brushed it off. She accused me of sexual harassment. FML

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

#915391
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46755) - you deserved it (3038)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by RainyDay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend, and best friend, had baked a cake, and wouldnt tell anyone who it was for. When I asked he said I'd know soon. He met me after class to break up with me and offered me the cake to make me feel better. FML

#915379
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63550) - you deserved it (3051)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML

#914875
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37761) - you deserved it (13349)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by awesome (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

#914206
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55895) - you deserved it (8459)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to reccommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking; I got food poisoning from my own place of work. FML

#914179
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47773) - you deserved it (2937)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12pm - work - by newhostess (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML

#913985
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61660) - you deserved it (19428)

On 04/11/2009 at 11:47am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

#912798
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (78074)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML

#911885
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50886) - you deserved it (5642)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:42am - money - by canabana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

#911681
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31294) - you deserved it (39123)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

#911522
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13604) - you deserved it (102774)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

#910905
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88180) - you deserved it (4875)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

#910687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (58697)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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