Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

#2158640
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58053) - you deserved it (3658)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

#2158517
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61282) - you deserved it (11178)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

#2156907
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10453) - you deserved it (46623)

On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

#2150029
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69335) - you deserved it (6183)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by theman (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

#2147248
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19639) - you deserved it (70116)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

#2147101
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51116) - you deserved it (22890)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ECullen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was looking over some old notes from high school when I came across a list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I'm 25. I haven't accomplished a single one. I'm 26. FML

#2144492
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (14661)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

#2143757
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15846) - you deserved it (54391)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

#2140497
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48386) - you deserved it (3119)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by pa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

#2140359
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16615) - you deserved it (58590)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was desperate for a pee so I used some public toilets which were full of obviously underage girls drinking. I didn't think anything of it until halfway through my business when I looked up to see two of them leaning over the top of the stall taking pictures with a mobile phone. FML

#2139202
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51672) - you deserved it (3754)

On 05/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by PublicToiletEspionage (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML

#2138736
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10493) - you deserved it (74340)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by boyo (man) - United Kingdom (London)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: