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Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

#2336185
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49630) - you deserved it (4865)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:15am - money - by abc (woman) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

#2335998
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53819) - you deserved it (6113)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:48am - love - by xpxp2002 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17557) - you deserved it (62792)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

#2334865
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8107) - you deserved it (73577)

On 05/27/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Arrgh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML

#2332954
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37354) - you deserved it (15552)

On 05/27/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by Lmop68 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML

#2332017
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63091) - you deserved it (2535)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:50am - animals - by KMROYALShottie (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML

#2330424
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59273) - you deserved it (19407)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:06am - love - by sounfair90 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7718) - you deserved it (80581)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my most difficult task at work was three hole punching a 500 page document so somebody could put it in a binder on their shelf and not read it. I have a $150,000 education. FML

#2326583
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45924) - you deserved it (7146)

On 05/26/2009 at 10:19pm - work - by bagpipesrkmywrld (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

#2323618
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50581) - you deserved it (3005)

On 05/26/2009 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34287) - you deserved it (256591)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

TheRightEye's comment : You deserve that. Don't shoot at bunnies just because YOU were inconvenienced.

See all the comments →

Today, on my way out of the subway station, I noticed an older woman standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs with a large cart. I went up to her and asked if she needed help getting it up the stairs. She looks me up and down and says, "No, not from you." FML

#2317005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42715) - you deserved it (3807)

On 05/26/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by yaa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, there was a a huge storm. There were no buses so I walked for an hour to see my boyfriend of two years who (usually rather the unemotionally type) had called me, crying. When I got there soaking wet, he told me that he doesn't love me anymore and this makes him sad. I had to walk back. FML

#2314963
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55937) - you deserved it (3338)

On 05/26/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



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