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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I overheard my dad's friend complaining to my dad that his new baby boy is a ginger. I continued listening, and heard my dad saying, "Yeah, there's nothing worse than having a ginger." I'm his daughter. I'm a ginger. FML

#1591597
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56476) - you deserved it (6436)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by Deirbhile (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML

#1590703
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43372) - you deserved it (6588)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by lalibear (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

#1590402
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39198) - you deserved it (24385)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Sally256 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML

#1589667
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62155) - you deserved it (7590)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was babysitting this little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park so we did. When we were walking back, I was caring her on my back. When were almost at the door, she told me she had to go pee. I told her to hold it. As we were walking in the door I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

#1589486
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41034) - you deserved it (15360)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by Dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

#1588127
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48256) - you deserved it (7801)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by TooShort (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML

#1587848
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7864) - you deserved it (65448)

On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

#1586580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13252) - you deserved it (55176)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML

#1585539
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46914) - you deserved it (8258)

On 05/03/2009 at 4:37am - health - by bananayellowteeth (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

#1584585
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16980) - you deserved it (1816)

On 05/03/2009 at 3:15am - kids - by bodhimae - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

#1582380
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17781) - you deserved it (43725)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

#1579657
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57329) - you deserved it (3827)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)



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