Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML

#1656975
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49658) - you deserved it (8261)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by dinosawerr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

#1656841
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165168) - you deserved it (12310)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was insulted online by a teenager who said that I was probably a fat loser that still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML

#1656055
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28512) - you deserved it (53610)

On 05/05/2009 at 6:32am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

laestrellita's comment : This is why you don't keep nude photos of your girlfriend. You look and then delete that shit.

See all the comments →

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17190) - you deserved it (58519)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

#1653487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45802) - you deserved it (3365)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

#1652768
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15028) - you deserved it (91503)

On 05/05/2009 at 1:43am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML

#1651760
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12179) - you deserved it (51328)

On 05/05/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by station (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

#1649532
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60611) - you deserved it (4697)

On 05/05/2009 at 12:07am - love - by broke (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tip toed out of the room did I realize that my cell phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

#1649042
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41290) - you deserved it (7033)

On 05/04/2009 at 11:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML

#1648033
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8255) - you deserved it (76561)

On 05/04/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by daddyslittlegirl250 (woman) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: