Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

by ac13 / 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML

by DaddyZ / 06/27/2010 at 9:30am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I went to a party. No one there was under 60. I'm 16 and it was the only party I've been to all year. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2010 at 6:07am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

by Daniel / 06/27/2010 at 3:43am / United States / Work

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

by Gary / 06/27/2010 at 12:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

by ouch / 06/26/2010 at 10:23am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2010 at 9:24am / Tanzania United Republic of (Dar es Salaam) / Love

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

by the_pheasant66 / 06/26/2010 at 6:31am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health

Babushka_Homyak's comment : What the fuck is wrong with your sister?

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Today, I bought tickets for my friends and me to go to a concert. While I was in the shower, they ditched me and took my girlfriend. FML

by anyomous / 06/25/2010 at 11:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I tried giving myself a bikini wax for the first time, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do it right. Now I'm laying on my couch with a wet rag and ice inbetween my legs. FML

by HaleyDrew08 / 06/25/2010 at 11:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

by cduttl1230 / 06/25/2010 at 8:30pm / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

by SMS123 / 06/25/2010 at 3:42pm / United States / Love