Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML

by Gina / 04/02/2010 at 7:33am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me that I think too much during sex. Now the only thing I can think about is how much I'm thinking too much. FML

by kmang33 / 04/02/2010 at 7:24am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

by worried / 04/01/2010 at 4:28am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

by darthmilfious / 03/31/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy

tippy_pink89's comment : well ydi for faking, if he's not doing it right, tell him, how's he ever gonna learn n fyl for getting caught

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Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML

by imsorrylove / 03/31/2010 at 12:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

by GonnaGetFired / 03/30/2010 at 8:11pm / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

by ballnchain / 03/30/2010 at 12:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend. His best friend called and said he just beat God Of War 3 and that my boyfriend could borrow it. He got up, got dressed, ran to his car and told me I could walk home. FML

by xxlexi_lovexx / 03/29/2010 at 12:20am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

by drsyl54 / 03/28/2010 at 5:04am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

by pumpkinlover89 / 03/27/2010 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

matt1337c's comment : They're so gay. Was it hot?

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Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

by Haley. / 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I got through to the phone interview stage for a great job. When the phone rang, I answered and suddenly, spontaneously, burped really loudly. The interviewer hung up. FML

by urrrppp / 03/26/2010 at 5:44am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Work

Today, I got locked inside my office again by my co-workers because they had forgotten I was still around when they left. This happens 1 or 2 times a week. FML

by Tee / 03/26/2010 at 4:48am / Work