Today, my parents made me a steak dinner to celebrate me visiting home from college. I've been a vegetarian for eleven years. This is the third time they've done this. FML

by cjkelly1 / 06/23/2010 at 7:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out that my colleagues don't add me on Facebook so that they can publicly put me down in their statuses, without me knowing. My boss liked the one which said that I talk too much. FML

by Cleo / 06/23/2010 at 10:27am / Brunei Darussalam / Work

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that my younger sister had maxed out all three of my credit cards when I tried all three of the cards, and realized that I didn't have $5.29 to buy tampons and Advil. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2010 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, my boyfriend of over 2 years said he wants to get married before he leaves for basic training. Not because he loves me, but because he'll get paid more if he's married. This is the only time he's been excited about marriage. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

by Mangler / 06/22/2010 at 9:49am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML

by k.love / 06/22/2010 at 8:59am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I went camping with my husband. We drove 11 hours to his favourite site before he remembered he didn't put the tent in the car. FML

by angry / 06/22/2010 at 3:47am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I found out that after working in the same office for five years, I now work with three of my husband's ex-girlfriends. FML

by lilrudegirl / 06/21/2010 at 10:12pm / Work

Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML

by GrannyAt22 / 06/21/2010 at 9:28pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, I finally met the guy I've been talking to online for a year. I'd dropped 10lbs off my weight. He'd shaved 20 years off his age. FML

by keisha89 / 06/21/2010 at 8:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

by pizzafreak18 / 06/21/2010 at 10:21am / United States (New York) / Love