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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13002) - you deserved it (61493)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

#233704
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16667) - you deserved it (30090)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

#233372
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60605) - you deserved it (15313)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Humps's comment : Your counselor probably had a point. If you were interested in space you would want to be an astronomer, not an astrologist.

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Today, my physics teacher asked who had implants. I raised my hand. Then he asked me to show him the implants. Shocked at his request I called him a perv. I later discovered he meant dental implants as he was teaching x rays not breast implants. FML

#232961
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11018) - you deserved it (105233)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by Noname - Pakistan (Islamabad)

may_cause_fail's comment : Why would you have breast implants if you are still in school? You deserved that one, for that very reason.

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Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18241) - you deserved it (125139)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML

#232729
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (154690) - you deserved it (9282)

On 03/07/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by Pissed Off (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML

#232314
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (62558)

On 03/07/2009 at 2:35am - intimacy - by You Wish (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

#232169
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64941) - you deserved it (5817)

On 03/07/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by ladeda (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I couldn't answer almost any of the questions in the game "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" I'm a 40 year old man. FML

#232055
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13298) - you deserved it (45175)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by laywer_man (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML

#232006
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (11009)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by fjafja - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694
155 comments

Today, I finally told my best friend whom I've secretly been in love with for two years that I was in love with her but at the last second chickened out and said I was joking. She replied with "Don't scare me like that. I thought I was going to have to find a new best friend for a second" FML

#230798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60550) - you deserved it (6089)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:17pm - love - by crap (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

#229986
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67951) - you deserved it (6554)

On 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by promdump (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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