Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

by lashless / 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I drove 6 hours to make a job interview missing my best friends' wedding. The interview is actually tomorrow. FML

by poncho31 / 05/22/2010 at 4:08am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

by TheComputerGuy96 / 05/22/2010 at 3:56am / Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia) / Money

Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

by knickedleg / 05/22/2010 at 3:03am / Health

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

by guyshithappensto / 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

by Jlipka / 05/21/2010 at 10:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm / United States / Love

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

by Samuel / 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

by anonymous / 05/21/2010 at 1:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

by mperrotta913 / 05/21/2010 at 11:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I have been studying for the wrong final exam. One more hour until the test. FML

by finalssuck / 05/21/2010 at 11:01am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2010 at 8:07am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

f_alltheirlives's comment : Bloody Mary!! Brandy Alexander? Are you asian? Mai Tai? Dr. Pepper? Tom Collins? Jolly Rancher? Jolly Roger? Tell me now!!! I'm all shaken!!! Not stirred...

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Today, I hadn't been out in two weeks, and I was looking forward to going to the beach with my friends. Instead, I rear-ended someone at a roundabout and had to go home. FML

by CARnage / 05/21/2010 at 6:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation