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Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (472961) - you deserved it (29133)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

guffy's comment : wow....

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Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML

#1103682
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60505) - you deserved it (5033)

On 04/18/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

#1101827
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11708) - you deserved it (115470)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

#1100061
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (26939)

On 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by pinkblankets (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

#1094822
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64257) - you deserved it (3192)

On 04/18/2009 at 7:11pm - health - by crapgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

#1091481
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61141) - you deserved it (13863)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

#1091323
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39004) - you deserved it (31082)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by xxxdwangelaxxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was folding the laundry. At one point, I had to take a moment to figure out whether a pair of underwear was mine or my mothers. I'm 18. She is 56. Enough said. FML

#1090882
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48855) - you deserved it (11567)

On 04/18/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by granny_panties (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

#1090748
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46413) - you deserved it (9562)

On 04/18/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML

#1086654
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46431) - you deserved it (9151)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by Spec (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year old boy asked me "What do you do when you really want something?". I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML

#1086361
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48319) - you deserved it (5656)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:51pm - kids - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I gained a few pounds and thought I looked fat. He replied that I looked the same and that I shouldn't worry because he likes fat girls. I never thought I was fat before this. FML

#1084096
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43362) - you deserved it (16837)

On 04/18/2009 at 12:13pm - love - by notsoskinny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

#1082247
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98284) - you deserved it (5606)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)



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