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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14868) - you deserved it (175409)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

PTERONOPHOBIA's comment : I hope youre exaggerating when you say you actually yelled at him for that.

See all the comments →

Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML

#319307
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75099) - you deserved it (7689)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by CPN (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (157585) - you deserved it (19667)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

#318260
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (58946)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15725) - you deserved it (105063)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

#318032
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60668) - you deserved it (8095)

On 03/14/2009 at 5:46am - love - by knee2tak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met a really nice couple at a bar. We talked and the conversation eventually drifted towards online dating. I casually commented that hooking up through the internet was sad and pathetic. Turns out they met on Myspace. FML

#317816
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11936) - you deserved it (58315)

On 03/14/2009 at 4:43am - love - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76356) - you deserved it (5219)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

#316205
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19444) - you deserved it (178109)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was writing a very important email to my college professor. I went upstairs for something and came back down to send it. I later asked him today why he hadn't responded to which he said "I'm flattered...but can't." My roommate had added "love you xxx" at the end of the email. FML

#315906
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48126) - you deserved it (6265)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by dntstopmenow (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126467) - you deserved it (9642)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

#314524
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80825) - you deserved it (6729)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:13am - health - by choker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

#312852
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23278) - you deserved it (105044)

On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)



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