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Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

#1734899
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97471) - you deserved it (15428)

On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

#1732153
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55300) - you deserved it (4281)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by PetitPrincePerdu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

#1729820
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42181) - you deserved it (6403)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Bucks9 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

#1727113
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87355) - you deserved it (4620)

On 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm - love - by Joey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Love you" FML

#1723493
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21727) - you deserved it (53454)

On 05/07/2009 at 5:10pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

#1722072
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47302) - you deserved it (13991)

On 05/07/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by weliveanddie14 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML

#1720755
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47269) - you deserved it (6978)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by sleepyt127 - United States (New York)

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

#1719751
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44266) - you deserved it (3886)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:15pm - work - by nojob (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

#1719560
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115133) - you deserved it (5642)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML

#1717469
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49516) - you deserved it (4152)

On 05/07/2009 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the middle of walking home when I saw an old woman trying to get away from what looked like a mugger. I go over and try to help her out and get the man off of her, which was successful. Turns out she was having a heart attack and the man was a doctor. FML

#1716877
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41636) - you deserved it (15990)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by JuniorDetective (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the guy i've been having sex with for over a month didn't know my name until today. No wonder he always ever called me 'baby.' FML

#1716313
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31302) - you deserved it (65455)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by ummPORQUE (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. FML

#1714959
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46305) - you deserved it (12361)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:50am - kids - by spanishteach (man) - United States (New York)



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