Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML

by atetoeate / 08/27/2010 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML

by Oops / 08/27/2010 at 12:06am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

by Eeeek / 08/26/2010 at 5:17pm / Bulgaria (Varna) / Intimacy

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

by Ido / 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I went to pay my vehicle registration in person to avoid paying the $10.00 online service fee. After a long wait, I came out to find a $15.00 parking ticket on my car. FML

by avalanche719 / 08/26/2010 at 11:09am / United States (Iowa) / Money

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

by H8TR / 08/26/2010 at 9:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

nasek718's comment : Iguess this is a FMA not FML

See all the comments

Today, I was walking with the dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling another friend came by, and we went talking for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the water instead of his stick. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 9:27am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

by earths_venus / 08/26/2010 at 8:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

by fmylife / 08/26/2010 at 6:09am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 5:16am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 4:15am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy