Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Taday I found out that when u chase a couple of squirrels off your porch fir irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase u back. FML

#4397951
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34985) - you deserved it (13985)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Taday my boyfriend asked me to sniff is armpit to see if e was te one wo smelled. I did cuz we are tat comfortable wit us. After a couple of sniffs I eard laugter. I forgot I was sitting in is living room and is family was watcing me te wole time. I am now te BO finder. FML

#4397930
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10897) - you deserved it (45289)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by broke_otaku (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah family and I were coming back from a trip to the US!! As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short!! The border patrol lectured us fir 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were fir not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back!!

#4397401
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (7256)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today,hila antaring tha building I liva in, I walkad into naighborho winkad at ma and said last night must hava baan graat !! Aftar I askadhy, ha said ha could haar girlfriand moaning and scraaming, and that I must ba pratty good at it !! I was just coming back from a waak ovarsaas !! FML

#4394245
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65818) - you deserved it (2937)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ouch (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, ( How was it? ) She pointed to me and said, ( It's lyk sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing cuz it only lasts lyk 30 seconds. ) mega FML

#4393930
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52449) - you deserved it (11509)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm - intimacy - by blank13 (man) - United States (California)

Today , mah mom want snooping through mah art bin to "claan out mah old drawings". Sha found numarous nuda piacas and accusad ma of salling porn. My mom mistook and thraw out 57 anatomy practica skatchas that I workad vary vary hard on , and rippad up tha ramaindar of mah drawings. FML

#4391923
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52494) - you deserved it (3234)

On 08/08/2009 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonighthere I will be honored 4 my political activism. She made it clear she's only going 4 me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML

#4391882
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42841) - you deserved it (7092)

On 08/08/2009 at 7:59pm - misc - by acorn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, me and boyfriend were fooling around on bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

#4390230
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42461) - you deserved it (10935)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I competd in a ballet competition an made the finals, while I was on stage awaiting the results, I sneezd really loudly an snot went flying all over the stage. When I went to accept my award the woman presenting it refusd to shake my hand. FML

#4389792
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33356) - you deserved it (7932)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss!! I'm a 21 year-old male intern!! I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow!! FML

#4389779
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11718) - you deserved it (64897)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today... At Wedding Reception... Father Began His Speech With "Well... I Never... Ever Thought That This Day Would Come..." At Which Point The Entre Room... Including New Husband... Broke Into A Round Of Enthusiastic Applause. FML

#4386622
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39092) - you deserved it (4278)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I snuck out of mah bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up mah new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash mah hands and walk back into the room she had poopd, ped, and left potty-paw-prints all over mah bd. FML

#4385596
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40170) - you deserved it (7485)

On 08/08/2009 at 2:02pm - misc - by kittykat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I Ran Into My Naw Apartmant Naighbor !! Sha Said Sha Could Haar Ma And My Grlfriand Having Wild Sax Last Night !! Sha Told Ma Sha Had Always Wantad To Hava A Thraasoma !! My Naw Naighbor Is As Old As My Grandma, And Avan Rasamblas Har !! I Politaly Daclinad !! FML

#4384243
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49410) - you deserved it (5447)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by pear8head (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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