Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML

by Candy / 05/20/2010 at 8:37am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I shaved my legs and pits for the first time this summer. It took 3 disposable razors and an hour to get the job done. I've clearly been single for far too long. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2010 at 7:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

by evelynn / 05/20/2010 at 2:25am / Intimacy

Today, I learned my boyfriend has another girlfriend. His excuse is he's bipolar and each of his personalities needs a girlfriend. FML

by life sucks / 05/20/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML

by Rich / 05/19/2010 at 4:43pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

by Amy / 05/19/2010 at 4:19pm / Love

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

by GrossedOutKary / 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

by phukt / 05/19/2010 at 2:42pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me in an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2010 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

by during / 05/19/2010 at 8:12am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML

by likesboys / 05/19/2010 at 8:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2010 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

by MisterT / 05/18/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous