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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

#7181113
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10673) - you deserved it (51636)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by pinky (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

#7180420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13068) - you deserved it (29147)

On 01/06/2010 at 11:44am - work - by noluckwhatsoever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51197) - you deserved it (2527)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

me5's comment : The state of ilinois never lies!! Go back to your grave!

See all the comments →

Today, it was snowing really badly, so my boss said that everyone who drove to work could leave. But because I got the bus in, she said that I should stay and do a full day. By the time she eventually decided it was bad enough for me to leave, the buses were cancelled. FML

#7178930
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36089) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/06/2010 at 8:42am - work - by Snowzies (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I treated my friends to lunch at a posh restaurant because it's my birthday. While we were walking leisurely around the mall afterwards, their boyfriends showed up. I spent the next few hours walking alone behind them while they were walking hand in hand with their boyfriends. FML

#7177665
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35438) - you deserved it (4402)

On 01/06/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by ribbonsundone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

#7177053
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31898) - you deserved it (6482)

On 01/06/2010 at 3:41am - animals - by motheroftwo (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

#7176423
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28772) - you deserved it (7426)

On 01/06/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Nox (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

#7175057
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (4447)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:53am - love - by drunkdial - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

#7174533
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28518) - you deserved it (3128)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:24am - love - by lug_nut (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML

#7174150
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7694) - you deserved it (25216)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26350) - you deserved it (4132)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (3851)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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