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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

#5971275
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (6215)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML

#5970435
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9405) - you deserved it (134210)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

aslate's comment : OMG ur really bad if u do that, i mean, its JUST a game!

See all the comments →

Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

#5969153
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29727) - you deserved it (3545)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:07am - love - by Clunker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML

#5968857
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51583) - you deserved it (4102)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Marcella (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33639) - you deserved it (3367)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the post office and as I entered the building my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

#5968362
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9005) - you deserved it (34672)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by kiran - United States (California)

Today, I found a dead puppy in my backyard. I have never owned any pets. FML

#5966909
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39644) - you deserved it (2244)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by WhyMe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

#5966338
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13138) - you deserved it (33176)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML

#5966282
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (12239)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

#5964680
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (6562)

On 10/23/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

#5959994
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35449) - you deserved it (3013)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by iross (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

#5959934
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54258) - you deserved it (10758)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ashleyramsay (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

metakingt's comment : how the hell does a dog dying sound like your parents having sex?

See all the comments →

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

#5958359
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48321) - you deserved it (2835)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by abdominates (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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