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Man or woman?

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

#658830
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109750) - you deserved it (11922)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by lice (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

#657715
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63248) - you deserved it (11777)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:07am - love - by Anon. (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML

#657001
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131461) - you deserved it (5738)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML

#656486
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46559) - you deserved it (21482)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by justinherass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend of over a year a text message telling him how much I loved him, how perfect he is for me and what I love about him. He sent me back a text saying, "I thought you had class." FML

#656324
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50526) - you deserved it (7476)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - love - by Marine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML

#656322
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44954) - you deserved it (3144)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

#654050
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58204) - you deserved it (6390)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm - love - by dumpedattheclub (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

#653658
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81176) - you deserved it (6956)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by VampiresSayRawr (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally decided to tell him I love him. He told me that he loved me too... like a sister! The love of my life has been sleeping with his "sister" for three months. FML

#653617
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60082) - you deserved it (4485)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Samsonites (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother was vaccuming the stairs. Trying to be polite, I climbed over the banister to the floor above, so I wouldn't interrupt her. She looked at me odd and said, "I'm surprised that held your weight." The banister is maple and steel. FML

#653813
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45971) - you deserved it (4654)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:15pm - misc - by Anonymity (man) - Canada

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML

#651066
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (71126)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by Jim (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

#650429
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126124) - you deserved it (22973)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11525) - you deserved it (123349)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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