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Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31477) - you deserved it (118392)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

jm88's comment : ..."So she's told me".

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lovely_189's comment : damn, you're an asshole love you long time! XD

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Today, I got back from a 6 month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of 3 years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML

#617826
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70819) - you deserved it (5315)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:06am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

#617200
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118804) - you deserved it (8754)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (103067)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML

#616286
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58981) - you deserved it (4467)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:06am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12965) - you deserved it (56895)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got home to find my mom sitting in the kitchen reading the mail. I saw an empty bottle of Absolut peach vodka on the counter. Surprised, I picked it up and said " wow, who drinks this?". Her reply was "Why don't you tell me, i found it in your room." FML

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69218) - you deserved it (3463)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML

#602653
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55170) - you deserved it (23636)

On 03/25/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)



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