Today, I had to confront my boyfriend after finding a girl's phone number next to my bed. He said I was over reacting. When I told him it was over, he asked for the number back so he could call her. FML

by tj / 08/26/2010 at 12:11am / United States / Love

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

by TextsAlot / 08/26/2010 at 12:08am / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

by devigsgirl / 08/26/2010 at 12:08am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

by bevo / 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

by Joel / 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm / United States (California) / Work

evilplatypus's comment : then fess up to your bosses that it's your fault, ass-wipe

See all the comments

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

by counselor / 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to wax my own eyebrows with a Do It Yourself kit from the pharmacy. I'm now missing half of my right eyebrow. FML

by Eyebrowsgone / 08/25/2010 at 9:10am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

by klutz / 08/25/2010 at 12:14am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

by vstan / 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

by AlexaSt2611 / 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm / Paraguay (Central) / Intimacy

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his Grandparents house. It said 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and tooth brushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML

by DyingOfShame / 08/24/2010 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

by iammike / 08/24/2010 at 6:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

by prego / 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health