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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37359) - you deserved it (3520)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

#7378425
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (7245)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm - animals - by life_sucks (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

#7378045
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (11858)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by queenofdeath - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I found on the internet pictures of me sleeping. I sleep naked. FML

#7377706
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34279) - you deserved it (7621)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:51pm - misc - by be_so_slick_56 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

#7376800
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (4030)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I rang my dad to tell him and my half-sister that I'm finally engaged. I then asked my half-sister to tell my stepmother. Still on speaker, I heard her run upstairs and pass the good news on. My stepmother responded with 'Cery who?', followed by 'So what? I can't stand her'. I'm Cery. FML

#7376584
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you deserved it (2366)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by ThatCery (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my smoke alarm went off. In a frenzy, I called 9-1-1 and exited my house. Several minutes later a fire truck showed up. After investigating, one of the firemen informed me I needed to change the batteries in my smoke alarm. FML

#7375995
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7612) - you deserved it (36025)

On 01/16/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by lollerskate (woman) - United States (Texas)

 Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML

#7374714
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28502) - you deserved it (14096)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:22am - love - by Desperate_measures (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML

#7373793
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (2962)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:10am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML

Today, I got called into work and I was really excited to earn some extra money. One block from getting there I get pulled over. Apparently my tags were expired, and there goes half a weeks pay. FML

#7372810
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9644) - you deserved it (25858)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:22am - money - by bankergirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML

#7372755
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (2568)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by shockedgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML

#7370561
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27289) - you deserved it (8638)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Indiana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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