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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got pulled over for going 85mph in a 60mph zone on a highway in the Everglades. There were cars passing both the cop and me as I was being pulled over. The cop decided I was easiest to catch since I was the slowest of the bunch even though the other cars were topping 100mph. FML

#5899039
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33719) - you deserved it (15389)

On 10/19/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by tracey (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiancé and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML

#5897487
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45784) - you deserved it (2941)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:37pm - love - by Alyssa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

#5897167
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32517) - you deserved it (13844)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was ordering food at McDonalds when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML

#5896652
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29704) - you deserved it (7182)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by ThePidgeon (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I had a UTI. After, taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML

#5896286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (4227)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

#5896023
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11200) - you deserved it (30718)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

#5895637
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (3351)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Geez (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I told my sister that I thought I was pregnant, and that she was the only person I had called. Immediately after I hung up the phone I got a text saying, "OMG my sister thinks she's pregnant!" FML

Misc248's comment : We can laugh about it now because it turns out I wasn't pregnant. But now I know I can't trust her with information like that (unfortunately).

See all the comments →

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML

#5895031
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40609) - you deserved it (6362)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:54am - love - by kierstin (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8458) - you deserved it (58476)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

#5893479
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60819) - you deserved it (3856)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML

#5892629
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44819) - you deserved it (9260)

On 10/19/2009 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20563) - you deserved it (5890)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version



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