Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62393) - you deserved it (9604)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML

#2464746
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49245) - you deserved it (9677)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

#2464637
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47426) - you deserved it (11587)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that the closest thing I have to a savings account is the cup on my dresser with coins in it. I counted it, $17.34. That is my savings. I'm 28. FML

#2464165
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (46281)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:11pm - money - by mooseknuckle (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44328) - you deserved it (5021)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I washed my face and grabbed the towel to dry it, I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water. Unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

#2461249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37107) - you deserved it (3450)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML

#2459648
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46276) - you deserved it (4231)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Macy's to buy some bras. After I paid, the old lady cashier noticed there was pen on one of the bras. By accident I blurted out "It's alright. No one's seeing them." The old lady nodded back in agreement. FML

#2459641
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (9535)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by yikes78 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. She celebrated her birthday two months ago. She decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML

#2459455
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64481) - you deserved it (4502)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Singapore

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22233) - you deserved it (74833)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking the beach and I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other I smiled and waved as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML

#2458285
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35058) - you deserved it (15805)

On 05/31/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by sierra808 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML

#2456065
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38617) - you deserved it (23315)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

#2454603
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9431) - you deserved it (51816)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: