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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

#5622961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (14178)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

#5622271
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38864) - you deserved it (5783)

On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML

#5621142
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14706) - you deserved it (29970)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 9 year old little sister is coming back in town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML

#5620917
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7292) - you deserved it (57498)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by deadfish - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML

#5620277
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12354) - you deserved it (35420)

On 10/03/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML

Today, I spent the entire day packing my car full of boxes for my move tomorrow. When I finally finished, I realized I didn't have the car key. It's inside one of the boxes. FML

#5618503
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13888) - you deserved it (29517)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

#5618437
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16779) - you deserved it (3502)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:20am - intimacy - by lauz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

#5618251
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52233) - you deserved it (4822)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:43am - love - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I checked in a group of men from Mexico. I speak just enough Spanish to realize they're discussing my breasts. I have to stand there smiling while checking in three more people. FML

#5618007
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32708) - you deserved it (3540)

On 10/03/2009 at 6:31am - work - by Spanishredhead (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up excited for my trip to Jamaica with my friends. We went to the airport, and I gave them my passport to check in. They gave it back. It had expired three weeks ago. I watched my friends board the plane while I'm stuck in the city. FML

#5617258
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13837) - you deserved it (46441)

On 10/03/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by hahahaha91 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML

#5616852
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36588) - you deserved it (2363)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by ColdFoot (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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