Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML

#7436453
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9335) - you deserved it (33730)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by magicalDEATH (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

#7434698
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (6568)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:17am - love - by Sl3vin (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was given a ticket for running a red light. The reason? I was moving out of the way of an ambulance. The police officer watched it go by. FML

#7434371
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33844) - you deserved it (2875)

On 01/19/2010 at 8:20am - misc - by Samaritan (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

#7433916
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6443) - you deserved it (37727)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:51am - work - by Stilljobless (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

#7433438
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (4917)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:59am - misc - by momof2boys - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

#7433356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25742) - you deserved it (2816)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

#7432728
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (4457)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my job as a consultant at a shop that sells wedding dresses. My first client? The girl my ex-fiancé cheated on me with and left me for. FML

#7431975
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (2112)

On 01/19/2010 at 1:44am - work - by StillHurt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (6245)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

#7430304
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28229) - you deserved it (5700)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

#7426309
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (4465)

On 01/18/2010 at 9:06pm - love - by pictureperfect678 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

#7426136
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31146) - you deserved it (2915)

On 01/18/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. Turns out they are firing 35 people. I wasn't on the list until I asked for a raise. FML

#7424503
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30492) - you deserved it (7165)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:41pm - work - by SadMan (man) - United States (Iowa)



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