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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

#850097
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11622) - you deserved it (149504)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

knowitall's comment : I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.

See all the comments →

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

#849768
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159696) - you deserved it (8614)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a window seat on a bus full of people when I saw a person lying motionless in a gutter. I jumped up, nearly hysterical, screaming for the driver to stop because there was a guy really hurt on the road. An emergency stop and huge commotion ensued. It turned out to be some garbage. FML

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

#849178
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70070) - you deserved it (6959)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:32am - work - by Windstar (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53509) - you deserved it (8646)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was looking at the page of a girl I've had this big crush on for a long time. After getting a date with her and taking her horse back riding and having a picture taken of the two of us I find that she paint shopped me out of the picture before posting it. FML

#847949
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53345) - you deserved it (3700)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:21am - love - by darkman28 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

#847714
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16356) - you deserved it (41483)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by laurisshnazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML

#847487
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58293) - you deserved it (7855)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:53am - love - by effedfosh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

#844380
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7977) - you deserved it (71892)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

#843077
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77960) - you deserved it (3026)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by omgn00blolz89 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
666 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26387) - you deserved it (454012)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Endymion's comment : You deserved that one hundred percent, you thieving bastard.

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Today, me and my boyfriend were telling eachother secrets and I told him i've shaved my upper lip. He said "I know, it's prickly when we make out." FML

#839552
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43312) - you deserved it (20471)

On 04/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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