Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML

by coltsfoot / 05/23/2010 at 5:08am / Norway (Ostfold) / Intimacy

Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML

by Around / 05/23/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

by EmbarrassedDaughter / 05/23/2010 at 3:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at dentist to get impressions made. The hygienist put way too much of the plaster stuff on the press. She put it in my mouth and asked if I was okay, I shook my head no and promptly vomited. It sat at the back of my throat and I could not spit it out until the plaster hardened. FML

by gpistas / 05/23/2010 at 2:08am / United States / Health

Today, I was feeling very ill after a severe anxiety attack. I asked my boyfriend to hold my hand until I fell asleep. He said he couldn't because he needed both hands to play on his gameboy. FML

by vikingunicorn / 05/23/2010 at 1:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2010 at 1:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

by *sigh* / 05/22/2010 at 9:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

by ChubbyAmerican / 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

shiftfaced's comment : why would you even answer the phone?

See all the comments

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

by lashless / 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I drove 6 hours to make a job interview missing my best friends' wedding. The interview is actually tomorrow. FML

by poncho31 / 05/22/2010 at 4:08am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

by TheComputerGuy96 / 05/22/2010 at 3:56am / Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia) / Money

Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

by knickedleg / 05/22/2010 at 3:03am / Health