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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

#7518203
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML

#7517323
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20213) - you deserved it (2353)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:21am - intimacy - by T.C (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

#7516892
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10982) - you deserved it (36173)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:27am - love - by SINGLE (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML

#7516838
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (33442)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by fisherman - United States (Florida)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

#7516271
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (7725)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:38am - love - by weirdlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

#7515979
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10175) - you deserved it (27786)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - intimacy - by BlackPolarbear - United States (Colorado)

MiniatureMayhem's comment : Tell your mom you were enjoying a really good chocolate cake.

See all the comments →

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (4255)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML

#7514878
111 comments

Today, I made a Facebook under a guy's name and I'm sending myself wall posts just so it looks like I actually talk to a guy. FML

#7514785
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15298) - you deserved it (43590)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:34am - love - by Brit (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25390) - you deserved it (2294)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

#7512878
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (6673)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:04am - love - by voltronn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

#7509871
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9412) - you deserved it (38737)

On 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm - kids - by Chan (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16297) - you deserved it (27372)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)



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