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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

#903514
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14937) - you deserved it (42742)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML

#902555
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43228) - you deserved it (2067)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by ellarose - United States (Maryland)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Savvy89's comment : Hey in some places its okay to do that. MORE POWER TO YOU! handle your business. btw if you will spend that much money on me for a date, ill take you out =D

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Today, I was pulled over for not having my car inspection up to date. I had my car inspected two weeks earlier. Since I'm at college my sticker was mailed to my home. My mother didn't want to pay the 42cent postage so now I have to pay $250.00 because my mother is cheap. FML

#902369
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54752) - you deserved it (3550)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:39pm - money - by Stickerless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

#901241
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48217) - you deserved it (3385)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:13pm - love - by ruvru - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56432) - you deserved it (2291)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

#900061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8526) - you deserved it (48221)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61053) - you deserved it (2605)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (37572)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

#899403
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15599) - you deserved it (53496)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was sent to an elementary school for safety day. One of the dads was asking about my job, when I told him about the long hours and high stress involved. He turned to his son and said "Now see why you stay in school?" I'm a paramedic. With a bachelor's degree. FML

#899104
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49601) - you deserved it (2497)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:07am - work - by Franco (man) - United States

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

#898279
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6908) - you deserved it (70457)

On 04/10/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by blah (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks "Can I lick your leg?" FML

#898181
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49949) - you deserved it (20267)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:43am - intimacy - by cherry (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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