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Man or woman?

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 mins. I stayed in there even though I finished shitting after 5 mins, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

#2937594
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31971) - you deserved it (4215)

On 06/16/2009 at 10:59am - work - by yuen (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49455) - you deserved it (3746)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

#2935549
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40025) - you deserved it (27871)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter finally walked down the aisle with a man she loves very much. While I was escorting her, I managed to trip and fall down revealing what I've been trying to hide all of this time: my shiny gleaming bald head that showed when my wig fell off. FML

#2935439
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45877) - you deserved it (11366)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:49am - misc - by Unlucky (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my daughter asked me if we can make sticker art. Of course I said it was ok so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML

#2935296
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (5351)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:35am - kids - by inboxbuddies (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

#2934855
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (4346)

On 06/16/2009 at 5:13am - love - by flowerfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

#2933331
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50316) - you deserved it (4596)

On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72976) - you deserved it (5398)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML

#2931703
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9349) - you deserved it (79503)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by idiotfriend (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML

#2929897
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36508) - you deserved it (3274)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by JustAGiftCardPlease (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

#2929872
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48647) - you deserved it (20771)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML

#2929763
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13470) - you deserved it (63030)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:35am - love - by Aerostar (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38662) - you deserved it (3952)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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