By Anonymous - / Sunday 25 March 2012 12:09 / Australia - Croydon
By PicklesMcRaptor / Sunday 25 March 2012 11:59 / United States - Miami

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

By LesToiliettes / Sunday 25 March 2012 07:12 / United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

By uh-oh / Sunday 25 March 2012 05:49 / Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

By lil123 - / Sunday 25 March 2012 04:40 / Canada - Calgary

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 25 March 2012 01:41 / United States - Fairfax
FML - The follow-up
SHK519 Say more :
Hey, I'm the OP. For your information, my grammar was impeccable. The people correcting it were American readers "correcting" stuff such as "colour", "realise", and the usual suspects. As for calling the Pope a noob, it was joking. I was ranting about the Africa situation actually, and I said he's a noob to the real world if he thinks celibacy is going to fix it. Thanks...
By SHK519 - / Sunday 25 March 2012 01:07 / United Kingdom - London
By sheilob - / Saturday 24 March 2012 23:06 / Australia - Camden
By Anonymous / Saturday 24 March 2012 22:05 / United Kingdom

Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML

By Stephen - / Saturday 24 March 2012 21:07 / Sweden
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