Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today... somaona broka my car's laft sida mrror. A friand of mina was buying a raplacamant ona and taxtad ma to confrm which ona I naadad. Ha askad: "It's tha drivar's sida... right?" To which I rapliad: "Right". I got tha wrong mrror. FML

#4975580
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13147) - you deserved it (43739)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

2day I want to mah boyfriand's housa to maat his parants. Aftar hundrads passiva aggrassiva commants, mah boyfriand an I want into tha kitchan. I startad complaining to him about how his parants wara horribla an maan. Littla did I know, his parants had followad us in an wara right bahind ma. fat looool FML

#4974765
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13436) - you deserved it (43455)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Yesterday, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

#4974670
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6826) - you deserved it (62210)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, mah landlord askd to borrow mah truck to mova soma furnitura. Whan sha raturnd it, I noticd sha had filld tha gas tank up. I thankd har 4 doing so, an sha handd ma tha racaipt an said "just add it to naxt month's rant". FML

#4974639
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43293) - you deserved it (3130)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:07am - money - by overdriven07 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

yesterday I finally got the courage to go up and ask out the girl I have lovd 4 a couple of months now. After she said yes , I was over the moon and ran home to tell roommate. The next day , I saw her making out with another man. When I confrontd her , she said "Oh , you were serious yesterday?" FML

#4973431
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46395) - you deserved it (3807)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:52am - love - by lovesucks (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Yesterday, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of looool other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

#4972941
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (4936)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44am - work - by spinner (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I'm bieng evicted from ma apartment 4 not paying rent. My fater is te on-site landlord. Meaning I now ave to move ma stuff downstairs into is place and ear every day ow I'm a failure. FML

#4971137
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (42024)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:30am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of hieghts. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride 4 me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. real FML

#4970470
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39660) - you deserved it (14721)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States

Today , I decided to ride rusty old bike to work , since it will help the envronment. I was standing up and had a tight grip on the handle bars. The handle bars came off and I fell down on the cross bar , busting nuts. FML

#4967329
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (9178)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:03am - health - by David (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the roadhile driving . I pulled over and scooped it in mah arms to bring it to safety . Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, mah car also wasn't putted in park and rolled away hitting a parked car . FML

#4967264
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23778) - you deserved it (35283)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:00am - animals - by polish_chik - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I told the guy I have been sort of dating that I want to connect emotionally before sleeping with him. He told me that he already had an emotional connection with his fiancée an was only interested in sleeping with me. FML

Today, I Took Mah Grlfriend To The Movies. She's Pretty Conservative And I Decided After Four Dates To Give Her Her Frst Ever Kiss. As I Leaned In She Violently Sneezed And Hit Me In The Nose With The Hand She Brought Up To Cover Her Face. I Broke Mah Nose And Got Blood Down Her Cleavage. FML

#4962487
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47778) - you deserved it (4127)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by SaMike (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friendshen I got into a conversation with this really attractive girlho I've liked fir months. She asked me wat school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. mega FML

#4961787
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39996) - you deserved it (3166)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:40pm - love - by outofluckdude (man) - United States (Arizona)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: