Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I got a ticket. The officer's daughter is my ex. He gave me a ticket for 31 in a 30 mph zone. FML

#7803637
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (5540)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by anoynomous - Sent from mobile version

Today, the windows on my car were frozen. I filled up a bucket of hot water, and threw it on the windows. The windows cracked. FML

#7803413
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8130) - you deserved it (79217)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by Chris - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

#7789192
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15059) - you deserved it (37120)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by overexcited (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML

#7782568
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38967) - you deserved it (9826)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by kaitlynn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went outside to scrape the inch and a half of ice off my car so I could get to work. After half an hour of intense scraping, I realized that it wasn't my car. FML

#7782560
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16026) - you deserved it (27229)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34893) - you deserved it (5958)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

#7780958
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (3969)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

#7776158
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13052) - you deserved it (36420)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML

#7775610
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (6970)

On 02/01/2010 at 8:45am - animals - by dontbadouche - Senegal

Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that "drinking beer" was at the top of one of the columns. It's a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML

#7775302
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32970) - you deserved it (4790)

On 02/01/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by argh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML

#7774982
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13573) - you deserved it (25172)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by wilsmith (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117531) - you deserved it (13617)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Masochistic's comment : What kind of twisted ritual is that? What compelled him to think that up?

See all the comments →

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31060) - you deserved it (3468)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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