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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

#3958127
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7806) - you deserved it (47225)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:15pm - work - by shayes9 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go in for work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML

#3957913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49816) - you deserved it (7756)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

#3957207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17060) - you deserved it (76804)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by grounded4life (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

#3956685
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45474) - you deserved it (5181)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada

Today, I phoned one of the IT guys upstairs for help with my PC. He said it would only take a few minutes; and would just fix it through a direct connection from his computer to mine. Hours later; I was feeling devilish, and quickly checked out an adult website. Mr IT Guy was still connected. FML

#3955327
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7164) - you deserved it (61450)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by debodave (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings and heels. When I walked out the door my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriends house I told him what my dad had said and he replied "I'd have to agree with him." FML

#3953472
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13383) - you deserved it (57020)

On 07/22/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

#3951718
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99242) - you deserved it (15494)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the airport for my two week trip to explore Europe. My ticket was denied and the workers turned me away. When I asked why, they told me to check the date. My ticket was for June 22nd, not July. FML

#3951293
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18249) - you deserved it (57462)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75335) - you deserved it (6083)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I have had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML

#3949898
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52339) - you deserved it (3082)

On 07/22/2009 at 8:17am - work - by babysitter93 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

#3949793
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58334) - you deserved it (3331)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

#3949695
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72491) - you deserved it (3504)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:43am - love - by mylifereallyISeffed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

#3949576
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46941) - you deserved it (15750)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Mortified (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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