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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

#1212600
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12583) - you deserved it (132478)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:24pm - love - by kellym (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

immafiremylaser's comment : You see, it's because... No wait, you're an asshole.

See all the comments →

Today, I lost my $100 in cash that I had to use to pay my phone bill. As a result, my phone got cut off and I miss an important call for an apartment that I was looking at. When I went to work I heard my boss saying how lucky she was to find $100 in cash. FML

#1206678
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46766) - you deserved it (3949)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal on accident. FML

#1206397
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64347) - you deserved it (24438)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML

#1200531
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59169) - you deserved it (21999)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML

#1200256
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56908) - you deserved it (4183)

On 04/21/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

#1193319
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64915) - you deserved it (6171)

On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

#1189680
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (3286)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

#1189537
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58543) - you deserved it (2810)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML

#1188952
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37961) - you deserved it (9866)

On 04/21/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Jesus (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

#1188272
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103530) - you deserved it (3615)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

#1187831
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61587) - you deserved it (3850)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:13am - love - by 5220 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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