Today, I politely asked my friend if she would repay me the £20 she owes me. She shouted at me, called me an insensitive bitch, and refuses to pay me back as apparently she can't afford to. Her holiday to Italy next week begs to differ. FML

by learntmylesson / 07/03/2010 at 12:15am / Money

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

by nowsingle / 07/03/2010 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML

by peanuts / 07/03/2010 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was relaxing on the couch after a long day with my annoying aunt when I heard my sister come in from the garage. I loudly asked, "Do you think Aunt Stacy knows everybody doesn't like her?" It wasn't my sister. It was my aunt returning my purse I had left in her car. FML

by katara / 07/02/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

by mylifesucks / 07/02/2010 at 6:25pm / Miscellaneous

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

by yrfavweapon / 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

by Tim / 07/02/2010 at 11:43am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

OhTyler's comment : You deserve it, you fat sack of shit.

See all the comments

Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML

by Mikimiks93 / 07/02/2010 at 11:05am / South Africa (Limpopo) / Transportation

Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML

by lmao4eva93 / 07/02/2010 at 12:21am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a black lacy thong in my boyfriend's bed. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't mine. FML

by slut / 07/01/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

palatapus's comment : Lol you should've told her.

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Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

by cooldude / 07/01/2010 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Transportation

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

by jane smith / 07/01/2010 at 8:11am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that while getting your hair cut, you should say 'yes' or 'no', instead of nodding your head. FML

by Username / 07/01/2010 at 12:55am / Miscellaneous